Thursday, April 16, 2015

parents

High blood pressure attacked.
2nd time.
1st: makngah's behaviour.
we are kicked out from that house.
Place i grew up : there!
I know, umi stressed.
Again
Azwan drew tattoo over her shoulder.
DRAGON.
Actually, I don't want umi knew.
Lastly, i told umi.

Umi called azwan.
As usual, with his mulut manis and hujah yang dia rasa reasonable 
Made me fed up.
 deep in her heart, umi cried
I know.
Her words : Don't regret in future because you are not study hard.
Don't regret to have colourful memory in university.
So many years, umi suffered.
No more tears.
:( :(

Papa: high fever.
Too much medicine he took.

Oh Allah,
i hope, You are not taking them
before
I recompense
Their expense, love, tears, effort etc
as previous.

i was year 2 i thought. there, my umi ^^ and mek and cousins



Monday, April 13, 2015

Candidates

Seorang teman bercerita
6 tahun memendam rasa
 Setia pada si dia
Kononnya istikharah menunjukkan dialah lelaki itu
(kui3)
-Patutlah, aku ingatkan kau hati batu- ^_^
Ibu dan ayah bersetuju.
Padahal si lelaki hanya katakan,
Nak! tapii
Dia belum bersedia.
Takleh balance between study and cinta.
Sekarang, even already worked, earn his own salaries and savings,
that guy still in silent mode.
Hadoii, kesian kau.

Lalu, aku katakan,
istikharah ini akan menjadi begitu,
kerana dalam hati kamu memang sudah tertera nama DIA.
Mari bermusyawarah.
Cuba senaraikan apa kelebihan dan kekurangan.
Dia ahli j kah?
Dia mentaati islam yang sebenar kah?
Dia memahami taklifan kau kah?
Dia mempunyai perasaan seperti denganmu: ingin punya anak2 yang hafiz dan hafizah untuk diinfakkan di jalan Allah kah?
Atau dia ingin menjadi muslim yang biasa-biasa sahaja, tanpa punya naluri ingin mendirikan masyarakat muslim yang sebenar?

Dia terdiam.
Mungkin berfikir.
Lalu aku katakan, apa yang kau suka sangat dengan dia?
- Aku nak kahwin dengan doktor weii.
Hahahaha. 
Aku gelak besar. 
Kau kejar doktor semata2? 
dalam hati: belum faham lagi budak ni nih.
Apa kau ingat dengan doktor boleh menjamin ke syurga?
Mangkuk tingkat!! Aku jerit padanya.

Berubahlah. Buka mata hati. Bukan mata nafsu.
Umat islam semakin tenat, sibuk mengejar dunia yang nikmatnya hanya sementara.
Kau tidak yakin dengan janji Allah nampaknya.

Setelah aku brainwashed, dia katakan,
Azi, aku rasa aku tak nak kahwin, boleh?

Huh.
Dee, kalau bukan jodoh di dunia, pastikan ia ada di syurga. ~ 





ghuraba

A student is reminding of me
Preaching is not only for ustaz or ustazah ^-^

She is an Indian.
But a muslim.
The whole family revert to Islam after her mother marrying a muslim's guy.
Now that guy is her step-father.
I keep wondering, why she mixed with Indian's students instead of Malay's students who is confirmed as a muslim.
Yesterday, I asked her.
Why you didn't go around with Malay's students?
Why they teased you as 'dua alam'?
Do you pray?
Do your family practising the way as a muslim?

Tears welling her eyes.
She want to practise Islam
But her family doesn't pray (include her step father: grrr.. kau dapat pahala islamkan orang tapi kau pun tak sembahyang? kau pun islam atas IC?) :-(
Her family doesn't practicing Islam completely.
Her Malay's friend teased her: black skin.
2 alam: can wear scarf or no need. girl or boy.
She said: Malays are not totally a Muslim
They shouted, speak louder, ribald (mencarut) and so on.

I give some advice.
I told her about her misunderstanding
Aurah between female: muslim and non muslim is similar with boy. No expose is allowed unless face and palms.

huhu


When a muslim shows bad attitude,
How can non muslim will attract towards Islam.
:( :(
Muhasabah diri.


 




smkbs:1217

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

edit.

apathy



Many students asked me
Teacher, are u in practical?
Nope, i'm a replaced.

Beautiful teacher
is
teaching her students without gripe and grouch
forbearing whatever they did
diligence and safeguarding in educate them 
with intention
they need to excel.

How?
I keep learning.
Have faith in Allah, azira.:)

The way Allah is tarbiyah ing you.

Dulu
a teacher is not my intention
the most i avoid
Sekarang
^_^
krik2.

Sabar dan doa
the way i stand
with this apathy life



FAITH IN ALLAH